The Ugly Suit

The Seeing-Eye Dog Stories

When the manager of a men’s clothing store came back from lunch, he immediately noticed that his clerk’s hand was wrapped in a bandage. Before he could ask what happened, the clerk eagerly greeted him.

“Guess what, sir? I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we’ve had for so long!”

The manager’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean that hideous pink-and-blue, double-breasted thing, do you?”

“That’s the one!”

The manager grinned from ear to ear. “That’s fantastic! I thought we’d never get rid of that monstrosity! But tell me… why is your hand bandaged?”

The clerk sighed. “Oh, that? After I sold the guy the suit… his seeing-eye dog bit me.”

⸻

The Smart Brother and the Spoon

Once upon a time, a man had two sons. As they grew up, everyone could tell that Jackson was sharp as a tack, while Blake… well, Blake was about as sharp as a spoon. Still, their father loved them both dearly.

Years later, their father became ill and eventually passed away. Jackson, who was out of town, called his brother right away.

“Blake,” he said, “I’ve got an important business meeting I can’t miss, but I’ll fly home as soon as I can. In the meantime, here’s my credit card number. Make sure Dad has the best funeral money can buy — no expense spared.”

He wasn’t sure this was a great idea, but he had no one else to turn to.

To his surprise, Blake handled everything smoothly and even managed to stay within a decent budget. The funeral went beautifully — respectful, elegant, and touching. Jackson was impressed.

A few months later, Jackson checked his credit report and noticed something strange: $300 still being charged every month. He called Blake.

“Hey, buddy,” he said carefully. “I’m not accusing you of anything, but are you still using my card? I keep seeing this $300 charge every month.”

Blake sounded offended. “Of course not! I’d never steal from you!”

“Then what’s this charge for?” asked Jackson.

“Oh,” Blake replied casually, “I bet that’s for Dad’s tux. You said you wanted him to look his best, so I rented the most expensive suit in town.”

⸻

The Doberman and the Chihuahua

Two friends were walking downtown — one had a Doberman Pinscher, the other a tiny Chihuahua.

The guy with the Doberman said, “Hey, let’s go grab a bite at that restaurant.”

His friend frowned. “We can’t go in there — we’ve got dogs!”

“Just follow my lead,” said the man with the Doberman confidently.

They approached the restaurant, and he put on a pair of dark sunglasses before walking inside.

The bouncer stopped him. “Sorry, sir, no pets allowed.”

“You don’t understand,” the man said calmly. “This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The bouncer blinked. “A Doberman Pinscher?”

“Yes,” said the man. “They’re using them now — great protection from muggers, too.”

“Ah, makes sense,” the bouncer said, letting him in.

Encouraged, the guy with the Chihuahua thought, why not? He put on his sunglasses and tried to follow.

Again, the bouncer said, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.”

“You don’t understand,” said the man. “This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The bouncer stared at him. “A Chihuahua?”

The man froze for a second, then gasped dramatically. “A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua?!”