If this one doesn’t have you laughing until your stomach hurts, I don’t know what will.
There once was a couple who had been happily married for years. Their only real issue? The husband’s legendary morning gas. Every single morning, like clockwork, he would unleash a thunderous blast the moment he woke up.
The sound alone could shake the walls — but the smell? That was another story. His poor wife would wake up gasping for air, eyes watering, begging him to do something about it.
“Please,” she’d plead. “Go see a doctor! One day you’re going to blow your guts out!”
He would just shrug. “It’s natural,” he insisted. “I can’t help it.”
And so the years passed… and so did the gas.
Then came Christmas morning.
While preparing the turkey for dinner, the wife stood over a bowl filled with the bird’s innards — the neck, gizzard, liver, and all the extra bits. And suddenly… inspiration struck.
Quietly, she carried the bowl upstairs where her husband was still fast asleep. Gently pulling back the covers, she stretched the waistband of his underwear just enough — and emptied the turkey guts inside.
Mission accomplished.
A little later, the house echoed with his usual morning trumpet blast…
But this time, it was followed by a blood-curdling scream and frantic footsteps racing toward the bathroom.
Downstairs, his wife collapsed in laughter, tears streaming down her face. After years of torment, she figured she’d finally gotten even.
About twenty minutes later, he slowly made his way downstairs, pale as a ghost, still in his stained underwear, looking utterly shaken.
Trying to keep a straight face, she asked, “What happened?”
He swallowed hard. “Honey… you were right all these years.”
“About what?” she asked innocently.
“You always said one day I’d fart my guts out,” he said, voice trembling. “Well… today it happened.”
She struggled not to burst.
“But,” he continued, “by the grace of God… a little Vaseline… and two fingers… I think I managed to put most of them back.”
And that’s when she completely lost it. 😄
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