A worried housewife rushed to answer the ringing phone, instantly comforted by the familiar, gentle voice on the other end.
“How are you, darling?” she asked. “What kind of a day are you having?”
“Oh, Mother…” the woman sobbed. “It’s been awful. The baby won’t eat, the washing machine broke down, I didn’t get to go shopping, and I sprained my ankle so I can barely walk. The house is a disaster, and I’m supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight!”
The mother gasped and immediately launched into full support mode.
“Oh, sweetheart, sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I’ll be there in half an hour. I’ll do your shopping, clean the house, cook dinner, feed the baby, and I’ll call a repairman I know to fix the washing machine. Stop crying — I’ll handle everything. I’ll even call George at work and tell him to come home and help for once.”
“George?” the woman said. “Who’s George?”
“Why, George — your husband! Is this 223-1374?”
“No… this is 223-1375.”
“Oh dear, I’m so sorry! Wrong number.”
There was a short silence before the other woman quietly asked:
“…Does this mean you’re not coming over?”
Daddy on the Phone
“Hello? Hi honey, it’s Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”
“No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”
After a long pause, Daddy said, “But… honey, you don’t have an Uncle Paul.”
“Oh yes I do! Mommy said so. And he’s upstairs with her right now.”
Daddy took a breath. “Alright, sweetheart. Here’s what I want you to do. Put the phone down, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door, and shout, ‘Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway!’ Can you do that for me?”
“Okay, Daddy. Just a minute!”
A few minutes passed. The little girl picked the phone back up.
“I did it, Daddy.”
“And what happened, honey?”
“Well… Mommy got really scared. She jumped out of bed with no clothes on, ran around screaming, tripped on the rug, hit her head on the dresser, and now she won’t move.”
“Oh my God… and what about Uncle Paul?”
“He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too. He panicked and jumped out the back window straight into the pool. But I guess he didn’t know you emptied it last week to clean it… He hit the bottom really hard. I think he’s dead.”
Long, stunned silence.
Then Daddy finally said:
“…Swimming pool? Honey… is this 486-5731?”
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